So I’m watching a porn with an upstanding citizen like myself in it, and the Acrophobic lady in the video says “I want to climb you like a tree.” Having the source of your oppression fetishized is so hurtful, I am literally shaking, and that’s only, like, 20, maybe 25 percent orgasm. Rawr. Anger.

Stand tall, my brothers

Trigger warning: Short Oppression

I was taking the bus, and some minarch had the nerve to expect an apology from me for elbowing her in the head. You short fucks need to understand the limitations of my tall, beautiful body. Not only does it require extra space that you must accommodate at all times, it also elevates my eyes to a level where it is not reasonable to assume that I will see you. If you can’t do your basic job and get out of the way for the people you constantly oppress with your minarchy, then it’s your own damn fault when you bump into my elbow. Which also hurts, by the way. If anything, she should have apologized to me. I’m just so fucking angry right now.

Stand tall, my brothers.

I was trying to get to sleep last night and my toes got cold from poking out over the edge. Even in my own bed, I can’t escape short tyranny.

Stand tall, my brothers.

A recent survey among heightly people has determined that we need our own term for the intense prejudice being enacted upon us. As any intelligent heightly person knows, prejudice stems from hatred which stems from fear; therefore we need a term that accurately describes a fear of heightly people.

The technical term of a “fear of heights”, as discerned through thorough research, is “acrophobia”. Of course, the short majority has already used the term to describe their own personal fear of being at a higher vantage point. It is worth noting that the term’s meaning isn’t readily apparent to the less intelligent, either. As such, the alternative terms “heightphobic” and “shortcentric” can be applied as such. “Tallphobic” is also usable, but please read my footnote for why it is unacceptable in formal situations.

Don’t sink to the levels of the shortcentric majority!

(Note: the term “tall” is a construct that attempts to alienate heightly people. Only a short person can consider a heightly person “tall”. Be careful when calling a heightly person “tall”, as while many of us use it in a casual or joking sense, it can be very derogatory in many circumstances.)

I bumped my head getting off the ferry the other day. Short privilege is being able to walk through doorways without bending slightly.

Stand tall, my brothers.

Today, we, the tall, the proud, begin our march to take back the world from our diminutive oppressors, and we will march in the long, graceful strides our statures allow. No longer will we be asked to get things from high shelves. No longer will it be assumed we’re all good at basketball. No longer will I have to tell sneering shorties how the weather is up here. Millennia of totally real oppression end starting now, because now I am writing a blog, which changes everything. We will not be uptrodden anymore.

Stand tall, my brothers.